Dead end.

I’m currently not packing for a weekend trip to Colorado. This trip will technically be five full days, I’m going to a convention that I’m really not all that interested in, and I have no other plans. I plugged those factors into my knitting calculator (available at most local yarn stores in the invisible-but-totally-necessary section) and the calculator replied that under these conditions, I should travel armed with at least five knitting projects. Which would normally be easy, as I have chronic cast-on-itis.

However, I’ve completely run out of knitting and crocheting mojo. Bullets:

• I had the mojo once. I had a whole basket full of mojo.
• I then got really into recycling yarn, which is very labor-intensive and time-consuming when you don’t own a swift. So I pushed the mojo to the side for the sake of the sweaters.
• I started Frou Frou (ravelry link), and was loving it. I was doing it in the Oatmeal colorway of Lion Brand Fisherman’s Wool, which is the softest colorway of the bunch. And I love the drape of granite stitch on a large hook. I got through the back, sleeves, and one half of the front when I realized that the monster I was creating in no way resembled a sweater. If I attempted to seam it it would perhaps look like a sweater for an amputee in a distorted mirror if the person looking at it was polite. I knew my stitch count was off. I adjusted for it. I counted again and again. I want to rip the whole damn thing, divorce it, take all it’s money, and then cut the brake lines in it’s car.
• I want to make this shawl (as inspired by Oiyi) with the red skein of Shetland that I dyed. But it’s too itchy. And to stiff? I don’t know.
• I started some baby socks, which are a great pleasure to knit. But then I lost one of my four US size 1 dpn’s. You need at least four to make socks.
• I’m working on some worsted-weight socks for me, but I would need my computer with me as I’m making huge modifications to the pattern and I don’t trust the modifications to be remembered or well documented with my phone or a notebook.

Dammit! I’m so frustrated by this. I brought some needlework, but I know that as soon as I get there I’ll get my mojo back. It’s been that kind of week. Screw it. I’m packing these things and making it work:

• 2 sweaters to rip – both laceweight nylon/alpaca/wool blends.
• 260 yards of vintage worsted weight bright yellow wool
• The three leftover skeins of worsted weight hand-dyed shetland
• One spool of size 20 crochet cotton
• Two small skeins of worsted kitchen cotton
• One skein laceweight wool
• One skein Berroco Ultra Alpaca
• One two three skeins of various variegated/self-striping sock yarn.
• Two skeins of random wool/acrylic worsteds, one grey and one bright orange (hidden in my clothes bag because this is getting kind of ridiculous.
• 101 Designer One-Skein Wonders and 101 Luxury One-Skein Wonders
• Super Stitches Knitting (a stitch dictionary)
• Crochet hooks: sizes N, I, H, G, 00, and 5
• Dpn’s: 5 size US 7’s
• Straights: US sizes 11, 10 1/2, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 4, 3, and 2.
• Other essentials, such as a measuring tape and gauge/needle size calculator
• I don’t have the awesomest circular collection, so I’ll maybe not bring any.
• Also, I have some US 6 straights just sitting here, might as well bring them, too.

Wow. Sorry for this post. Terribly boring. I’ll let you know if I’ve run out of mojo permanently.

Oh. Also, we’re taking the Porsche. So I’ll let you know how on earth I fit all this damn yarn (which has no damn purpose) in the damn car. Thank goodness for cross stitch.

Cherries aren’t very tasty.

We have a big magnificent perfect-for-climbing cherry tree in the back yard. In previous years we’ve slaved over this tree to earn a good harvest and I think that’s only worked … once? Like six years ago? There were always worms. So many worms.

This year, we completely ignored the tree. It doesn’t deserve our attention because it doesn’t treat us nicely. (Soon I’ll publish a children’s book about this to teach young girls about young boys. College students use metaphors.)

Since we stopped fawning over the tree, it realized that it has to pull it’s own weight, and this year we have an impressive harvest. Not very many birds, no worms at all (that I’ve seen), and the fruit is just beautiful. I haven’t seen any mutant cherry siamese-twins, which is nice because those are icky.

Then we realized that we don’t really like the taste of cherries. They’re actually kind of disappointing. Totally unacceptable!

I think I’m going to make this pie sometime this week, but if any of you a) have ideas about what I should do with the cherries, or b) want to come over and pick yourselves some free fruit, feel free to comment. With all the rain we’ve been having, I’m thinking cherry-time is only going to last another weekish. They’re at their reddest right this second.

Lovefest: Leethal, flowers, and a monster

As usual, the pictures are the links.

I kind of have a huge, long-lasting craft crush on Lee Meredith, also known as Leethal, of Do Stuff! Click the picture for a link to a post filled with the most amazing things. Seriously, every picture makes me die a little, it’s so good.

These light-bulb vases (found via Dollar Store Crafts, who found it via a couple other people) are so very lovely. However, since I live in a very Republican state, I’m afraid I can’t pull them off without being white trash. Screw it, I’m okay with that. We have scores of Hollyhocks in my yard, and they’re terribly difficult to display in vases, but these would be perfect.

Monsters are about the most fun things to sew. And this one (found via Dooce, who just had the baby this was intended for) is just delicious. I want to use it as inspiration to make one of my own, but I’m thinking it should be made of a patchwork fabric. And have a bow on it’s head. And a crocheted curly-que tail. I don’t know who made the monster, because Dooce’s post is more about the custom onesie.

Mess.

This is just one corner of my craft/work/television/dining space. But I figured it’s the easiest way to show you what I’m most often working on lately. (Also I have a post coming up about mountains and mountains of recycled yarn … just you wait, it will be wonderful.)

LoveFest: damned French perfection, time-proof crochet, and fabric pom-poms

Les Grandes Filles Mode’lles did a blog post ages ago about the most perfect knitwear in the land. (As usual, the images are the links.)

Lion Brand Yarn, one of the few worthwhile blogs from a yarn brand, wrote about how to save swatches of crochet for posterity. I want to make a card/cigarette case like this. Bah. Too much work.

Molly Chicken’s Fabric Pom-Pom tutorial is absolutely wonderful. Wouldn’t these make the cutest baby mobiles? (Just so you know, I forgot the word “mobile” and spent exactly four minutes searching for it. I had to go to etsy to find the right word.)

Boob-ball

Pattern: Celestine Socks by the Berroco Design Team
Pattern Source: Free on Berroco’s website
Yarn: S.R. Kertzer On Your Toes 4 ply in color 3200 Wild Print
Needles: US 0 dpn’s
Date Started: March 22, 2009
Date Finished: April 1, 2009 (yes, that was over a month ago. Shut up.)
Ravelry link.

This colorway, specifically when ending a point with either the orange or the magenta, really looked like boobs at first. But now I think it’s pretty darn cute. It was challenging and interesting, but I was still able to knit on it during classes.

Eh. Other than than I don’t have much to say. Finished this one far too long ago.

Oh, I did do some sort of modification to the tips … I think I added one row before tying off. I will probably add two rows next time, because the pointier the better. (That’s what he said.)

December? Maybe?

A few months back, I found Leethal’s sleeve-dying tutorial on CraftStylish, and had to try it. I only had two sweaters on hand that met the requirements (animal fiber, light color), and even though they weren’t ideal (one was an almost-felted tweedy shetland wool, and the other has that string of black mixed in) I jumped in anyway.

I used several types of Kool-Aid, and two boxes of food coloring – traditional and neon. I’m so madly in love with the results. I’ve been collecting suitable sweaters since this experiment, but it’s going slow. I have only three that would work really well. It’s depressing. Anyway, I highly reccomend the tutorial, especially if (like me) you’ve never dyed yarn before. It’s best if you have some experience recycling sweaters, but you can handle it if you dont’ know how to do that. Leethal has a tutorial for recycling as well, if I remember correctly.

The yarn with the black strand is a dk 100% Merino wool ex-J-Crew sweater. It really is some of the softest yarn I’ve worked with – the drape is amazing. J-Crew is great for recycling. So far one sleeve (unpictured) was dyed purple and green and made into this short-sleeved baby cardigan, but with a different lace pattern and a few selvedge modifications. The other (unpictured) sleeve was dyed shades of purple and pink and magenta, and made into this long-sleeved baby cardigan. Both are currently in the waiting-to-be-blocked pile. I’m currently making a pinwheel knitted baby blanket out of the rainbow-colored skein. Yes. I know it will not be enough yarn. Shut up.

As for the Shetland, it’s a vintage scratchy yarn that I no longer have the tag to. The back (unpictured) was dyed pink and green and made into 1/2 of a granny square baby blanket. The other three have been left unworked because they are so scratchy, and it’s difficult to make scratchy things for babies.

Sneak peek

Making baby item after baby item gets a girl thinking. Not necessarily about babies – for me it’s more about family members I only know through the blankets and sweaters they created for me when I was born. I wouldn’t recognize most of my extended family if I met them on the street, but I recognize my great-aunt’s tendency to crochet every row through the back loop because of the heirlooms I still have.

Thing is? These things, though full of love and still useful, are pretty ugly. I think it makes them more endearing. There’s something really comforting about designing around a recognized need and on-hand materials, with necessity and simplicity overshadowing intentional design choices.

So sometimes, when planning a project, it’s fun to skip the imagination-based design steps, and just use a train of logic. There will be babies. They will need wool blankets. This is the wool I have. 2+2=4.

Based on this design philosophy, the color choices of my family’s heirloom afghans, a not-so-recent purchase, and these two blankets, I started crocheting.

I should mention that this blanket isn’t done yet, and I don’t want to photograph it until it’s been blocked. So sorry if you were expecting any sort of finished product.

The yarn I’m using was hard to take off the shelf. I bought it at a thrift store ages ago, mainly because the packaging was so lovely:

I really don’t know much about tapestry wool, but I’m pretty sure that’s what this is. Each box (I found five) contained ten 10-meter skeins of a light fingering weight, soft, unassuming wool.

Sheesh. The skeins are so damn cute.

Anyway, here’s the breakdown:

• 14 skeins of Pale Yellow, color #2286
• 10 skeins of Purple, color #2132
• 8 skeins of Slate, color #2845A
• 5 skeins of Red, color #2831
• 4 skeins of White, color #2800
• 3 skeins of Bright Yellow, color #2899
• 1 skein each of Grey (2848), Pink (2879), and Tan (2240)

Each box was fifty cents, making the total $2.50. There are 49 skeins, each with 10 meters, for a total of 490 meters, or 535.9 yards. I joined them with simple square knots, because I’m too lazy to felt 98 ends to each other. And I don’t much mind weaving in ends.

The colors don’t coordinate in any modern way. When mixed together, they simply remind me of grandma’s acrylic afghans. It’s both off-putting and endearing. Or maybe I’ve lost it. I’m almost through the ball of joined 10-meter lengths of wool, and then I’ll do a thick border to give the blanket a bit more heft. Not sure what color the border will be yet – it depends on what I have on hand.

Sidenote: Does anyone know if old-school yarns that claim to be mothproof contain any harmful chemicals?

Once-in-a-lifetime occurrence

I found all three of my measuring tapes, and they are currently not just in the same room, but in the same drawer. All three of them. I almost told the Yarn Harlot over Twitter because she is the only person I can be certain would understand what a phenomenon this is.

The pity gif is of what will soon be this cardigan, made of this (in lemongrass) and this (in yucca mix). It’s coming along swimmingly. Every once in a while I doubt the eyelet raglan increases – because it’s made of wool and alpaca, and why do eyelets in a warm sweater? I’ll tell you why: The same reason that sweater is short sleeved. (This reason? Because.)

I’m still working ceaselessly on baby items. I finished this cardigan in black yesterday and this hat in blue with a pom pom this morning. Perhaps I will take pictures. If you’re very nice.

Just don’t do it in public.

I’ve been on a sweater-recycling kick lately. I love the motions of it so very much. Even the de-seaming isn’t so bad anymore, because I’m getting better at it every day. But once all of the pieces of the sweater are separated and waiting to be frogged, the fun begins. I have a system, and it’s terribly inconvenient and time-consuming, but I stick with it because of the motion. Instead of skeining the yarn immediately, I wind it into old-school balls first, then skein using two kitchen chairs.

If any of you have an extra swift and/or ball winder lying around that you don’t want, I will … basically do anything but pay you money for it.

Anyway, when winding the balls, I keep the rolled-up knitted piece between my knees (when sitting down), and then rip out ten or so arm lengths at once. To do this I flail my arms back and forth in the air, and it makes me feel lovely. The winding motion itself is much like punching one of those silly small testicle-ish boxing contraptions.

I’ve ripped and balled four sweaters since Thursday, and will probably do three or four more before I get to skeining, washing, drying, and winding. It’s the motion of it! I can’t stop.

Also, it’s so damn cheap! Last night I finished an extra large cashmere/alpaca/wool cardigan that I bought at a thrift store for five dollars. Buying the yarn would cost at least TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS. (My reasoning: I got about 1,500 yards from the cardigan. I couldn’t find a very very similar yarn, but wool/cashmere blends generally run at a minimum of $20/150 yards. 1,500/150 = 10. 10×20 = 200.)

You can say it’s not worth the time, but really at this point my time isn’t worth money. And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Other than all the recycling, I’ve been making baby things. Because when a baby is coming, you give it wool. And there are millions of babies about to be born in my social circle.

If you want to recycle a sweater of your own, read this lovely tutorial. Then read the rest of that blog – it is brilliant. Then come to my backyard, we’ll rip in the sun unafraid of all the flying fibers getting stuck in our sinuses.