1. You know your (dad is) old when you water the lawn without sprinklers. Just standing there. Spot-watering.
2. My heart is divided between excitement that the new semester is starting and fear, for the same reason.
3. Something to tear apart is what I need RIGHT NOW!
4. I have felt the sorrow of whoever wrote this fill-in, I have known the depths of dissatisfaction.
5. Gah, won’t these people please send in their articles on time!
6. Buy me some junk food as soon as you can!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to mourning the outcome of So You Think You Can Dance, tomorrow my plans include building a newspaper and Sunday, I want to make sure my dog Scout doesn’t get lonely.