Little surprises like this make me love Utah:
My friend/employee (well, until this Saturday) Loraine found this perfect graffiti behind Muse Music in Provo, which is just a few miles South of my home. It’s wonderful to know that there’s some other local who loves knitting and graffiti. I’ve been making sweaters and accessories for the statues on my campus lately, inspired by the queen of knitted graffiti, Knitta.
I should say that Loraine will be my employee until this Saturday not because she is being fired, but because I am leaving. Well, I intended to leave but it turns out I’m just switching positions. Or departments. We’ll see.
Also, did I mention that I was featured in one of my favorite knitting podcasts, It’s a Purl, Man? Well, I was. And I talked too fast, and too close to the microphone.
Isn’t he adorable?
I have an announcement that is completely unrelated to the picture: There is yet another blog in my life.
This time, it’s a competition blog between me (aka Razz) and my friend Janeal (aka Wiretap). We’re starting out with Wardrobe Warfare, and the battles will heat up from there. It’s obviously in it’s infancy right now, so be patient.
The competition starts on Labor Day, so go check it out!
I usually ignore memes that tag “everyone who reads this.” However, I just had to succumb to this one because a) it gives me an excuse to be negative, and b) the author of the blog I got it from (Drewzel‘s post here), used the most fascinating British terminology. In my mind, at this moment, the biggest problem with America is that we say “shopping cart,” instead of “shopping trolley.” Anyway:
Instructions: List 25 things that peeve you.
- I have a very bad relationship with shoes right now. I can’t find any good work shoes. They all either require that I wear socks (which is always a bad thing), or they make me look juvenile. Which I guess doesn’t matter much because it’s not like clients ever see my feet anyway, but what if they do someday?
- I want to rear-end drivers who don’t move all the way over to the right side of the road when turning right. It’s just rude.
- Most of the heroes in movies are really stupid. Because really, heroes should not be stupid. They should be clever people who are aware of what’s happening around them, and what will probably happen next. And I understand that the hero should have one fatal flaw (thank you, 10th grade study of the Odessey), but why can’t their flaw be that they have too much logic? Or that they are bad dancers? Because really, all of the real-life heroes that I can think of are very clever.
- Pictures of shows on style.com that don’t show enough detail drive me bonkers! How am I suppoused to tell if that scarf is knitted or woven (I almost said “weaved”) if I can’t see the actual stitches? Or even discern how it drapes?
- Seeing people from high school makes me feel like they think I’ve been living in Cambodia smoking peyote and reading the tzar’s fortunes for the last year. And I don’t like it.
- I hate the noise that plastic bags make. I grin and bear it because Winston loves it so, but I really just can’t stand it.
- I HATE how so much money is spent campaigning. It’s just ridiculous. It narrows down the playing field, and not in a good way. Because either you can only run if you’re rich, or you owe a lot of people favors after you’ve won.
- I also don’t like how candidates openly bash other candidates. In fact, I’m going to make this into a broader category. I don’t like it when people villainize themselves to make a point or to achieve a goal. Example: One of my professors was being a doofus. Everyone in the class aggreed on this point. But then, some student-doofus raised his hand and said (verbatim, I swear), “Hey teacher, you’re a weirdo. Now can we get back to (subject of the class)?” Now, we all wanted to say something like this. But now, because of his rude comment, the class that was once on his side in their mild hatred of the teacher began to hate the student instead, and pitied the teacher. That was a terrible sentence. It would have been a much better tactic to just say “Will this be on the quiz?” or something like that to gently (a.k.a. passive aggressively) remind the teacher that he is not being paid to spout his conspiracy theories to his students.
- It bothers me that you can’t start a new paragraph while using bullets.
- I don’t like it when people don’t make appointments for things and then are skeeved off when they get to the place and there are other people there in front of them. Especially at places where it seems that appointments are the status quo. Here is a list of things that you should make appointments for, and not just show up to:
- Tax preparation
- Any salon or spa thing.
- Oil changes or anything having to do with your automobile.
- Anything having to do with bank accounts, mortgages, or finances.
- Dinner at places with more than five types of wine on the menu.
- Anything having to do with the government.
- Tours of any sort.
- The exterior lighting placement on Volkswagon Beetles infuriates me. In a bull v. red cape sort of way.
- I do not like having my food prepared by high school students. This is my number one peeve with fast food. I want my meals prepared my someone whose sole mission in life is to prepare meals.
- I don’t like it when people are all “Oh, I only use wooden needles. WHAT? You prefer ALUMINUM? You BARBARIAN.” It makes me want to stab them with my aluminum needles. Knitting needles. I should have clarified that earlier.
- I don’t like it when I ask someone if they like something, and they say “Um, I don’t know,” or something similar. If you don’t like it, tell me. If I didn’t want the truth I wouldn’t have asked you. By avoiding stating your opinion, you are wasting both of our time.
- I don’t like people who go to BYU. They just bother me. Even though my dad (whom I love) went there and was eventually a teacher there. And even though some of the people who know me best go there. I guess I’m fine with a person if I can suppress the knowledge that they go to BYU.
- I don’t like that in Utah county, most people fit into one of two categories: Mormon and Anti-Mormon.
- I do like that there is a movie called “Bonneville” coming out about three Salt Lake City inhabitants, and there are no references to polygamy in it. However, I HATE that the movie isn’t named after the great lake Bonneville that basically shaped our beautiful state, but after a car. It’s just ridiculous!
- I don’t like my windsheild wipers in the least.
- I don’t like the fact that I love hardanger. It just doesn’t sound like something that I would be interested in, even less have a burning passion for.
- I hate all the potholes that have suddenly sprung up out of nowhere. Seriously, on every road I use, there are potholes. EVERYWHERE. It’s as if our streets are going through puberty, and instead of pimples they have giant holes in their skin.
- I don’t like it when people use words like “legit” or “dope” or “cool.” They should say “legitimate,” “interesting,” and “fabulous.”
- I don’t like how many monosyllabic words I use. Texting has made this very clear to me, and it must stop. (All but two of the words in those last to sentence had one syllable! It’s just wrong!)
- I don’t like wall to wall carpeting. It’s just a giant bed of germs and hair and soap scum that cannot be cleaned.
- I don’t like it when people expect consistency out of other people. Inconsistency is one of the best parts of a person.
- I don’t like it when people won’t heed my warnings. Because I’m very good at spotting the flaws that people tend to ignore in themselves, and not afraid to tell them about it. So when I say “You’re digging your own grave,” listen to me, and don’t think that I’m being rude. I say this because I care about you and don’t want you to be sad in the future.
That was easier than I thought it would be. And after typing all that, I feel like I can fit twice as much air in my lungs.
Okay, I tag: Jenn, Janeal, Mereht (whom I don’t know how to link to), Mom, and … anyone else who is interesting who reads the blog.
Okay, I really hate how holidays always make people want to talk about their feelings.
I hate how people use holidays as an excuse to bring a little fiction in their lives. I’d much rather just moderate that fiction, spreading it evenly over the year.
I don’t hate holidays themselves. I just hate the traditions they’re based on and the way they make people act and what they do to traffic.
Last year on Christmas, I just took a long drive, and it was wonderful. There was no one anywhere. It makes me think that I’d really like to be Jewish on Christmas. Can one be Jewish one three-hundred-and-sixty-fifth of the time?
What kind of yarn are you?
You are Shetland Wool. You are a traditional sort who can sometimes be a little on the harsh side. Though you look delicate you are tough as nails and prone to intricacies. Despite your acerbic ways you are widely respected and even revered.
Take this quiz!
Filed under Knitting, People